In keeping with documenting my journey with Autistic burnout, I want to share some of the signs I've noticed in myself that lead me to believe I'm back on the road to burnout.
And since you know I love helping connect internal and external, feelings and emotions, I've split the list between brain and bautie. It helps me to see how things manifest in each dimension, and how they may impact one another; perhaps you will find this helpful, too.
Without further ado:
BRAIN | BAUTIE |
Forgetting more than usual | Less appetite than usual |
Intrusive thoughts are more dangerous | More shoulder/neck/back/muscle tension |
Reduced attention span, even when really trying | Tired but sleep is restless; over/under-stimulated |
Numb to things that usually bring immense joy | Teeth more sensitive from grinding without realizing |
That's great, but how do you stop the burnout bus once you notice it's taken off again? I guess we'll find out...
Right now, the only thing I can think of is taking more drastic measures because I don't think small tweaks will be enough. I've been spending some time evaluating what I need to get out of this, and once I see if it helps, I can go back and adjust the way I was operating that led to this. That's where I'll make the smaller tweaks... right now, it's time for drastic intervention.
Here's the other thing... I think it's going to be this continuous cycle. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to get things done and not burn myself out. My brain wants to work in extremes and I get SO MUCH done, but this is the cost. Maybe I can't change the price... I don't know.
I guess that's the experiment right now, and I'll obviously keep you posted... after this week, that is.
Why?
One part of drastic intervention this week is eliminating the amount of content I'm putting out so that I can take the mental break my brain needs... I just get so excited, but the spiderweb has been working too hard and too much lately.
The other part of drastic intervention is that I'm going to redirect energy to physical activities like taking care of cleaning and projects I've either been putting off or haven't been able to prioritize yet. Doing these activities should help me feel less... frozen - plus there's always satisfaction for me in SEEING results.
Okie dokie... with that, I shall keep lots of notes and will try to document things as much as possible while also living "off the grid" for a bit, if you will.
Until next time...
Stay regulated,
Shauna
