I don’t know about you, but my nervous system has been a hot fucking mess lately. So here’s a quick story about how I tried to use it to my advantage for a little while today.
I forgot to pick up my air furnace filter for the bi-annual change, which meant maintenance coming by sometime between 9:00 a.m. and 12:00 p.m. today. We’re usually on the front end of these things, so I knew it would be closer to nine than noon… all of which I realized at 8:40 a.m. with the simultaneous realization that I had the furnace blocked with… shit. Piles of my shit.
I mean, that’s embarrassing, but also, I needed to actually move the shit since there was no stopping the maintenance filter train that was quickly approaching.
I was IMMEDIATELY triggered – like, above the already hyper-aroused baseline at which I’ve been hovering.
I quickly got dressed and ran out there to clear the shit away, which led to more shit being put away. I started moving quickly (angrily, let’s be honest) because I was so adrenalized, but as I got more cleaned up and that started to fade, I realized it felt good to move that energy through my body. Plus, it was visually satisfying because I got to see some of the progress I made.
AND, because I got so much done doing my ragey adrenal-cleaning while waiting for him to come by, I started on my car and managed to get all the inside windows wiped down and some other stuff reorganized.
So many of these things that have bothered me every time I see them and think “I really want to get that done.”
Part of trying to stay out of burnout is clearing out things that accumulated so that I don’t see the visual reminders of how bad the last year has been. Not to deny any of it, but it’s heavy; and I feel it when I see it. I just… really want to move forward.
So. My Monica-Geller-messy-closet-of-a-garage is one of the major projects I’m determined to take care of before winter officially strikes, and today was a good start. It was a good reminder to myself of how I can harness that gross physical energy sometimes and use it to take care of things that have been making me feel shitty; I love a good double-negative-makes-positive situation.
I’ve been relatively quiet lately, but I have a lot to say about the process I’ve been going through this last week; minimizing is maximum effort, that’s for sure, and I’m looking forward to getting some things finished up so I can put those thoughts into words and share them.
Stay regulated,
Shauna
Things I found today...
It's a little like shopping, which I've not done in quite some time - MORE BINS!
I’ve noticed that with myself too, anger sometimes gives me a boost of energy. If I get angry enough I can clean the whole house.